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Debunking the confidence myth

By April 25, 20146 Comments

 

DIY Video Series

The last few months have been a complete whirlwind for my business.

My DIY videos are selling better than I ever imagined! (thank you! thank you! thank you!)

I took 9 ladies with me out-of-town to work in a beautiful 12 bathroom, 8 bedroom estate recently.

We’ve been asked to travel to Belize to work on our first international project.

I just spoke at the Kansas City Home and Garden Show where 3 ladies from HGTV were also guest speaking (insert choking.  insert trying to play it cool.  insert OMGosh!!!!)

And….. I was on television twice the week of the Home Show.

I am watching my business take off to levels I never dreamed it would go to!  It has been a blast!!!

But there is one thing that I want to convey….I have done it afraid.

Afraid no one would buy the videos.

Afraid we would get out-of-town and the project would not go well.

Afraid that I would pass out on stage and everyone would see the hole in my dress and hear the crack in my voice and sense the fear in my gut.

Afraid I would be on live TV and forgot to make sense. Or worse, trip in my wedges.

And of course…none of that happened.

Steven Furtick says in his book “Crash the Chatterbox” that something like 95% off all the things we worry about never do happen.  If you haven’t read the book…….get it TODAY!

But the fear, and “the chatterbox” is very real and here is what I know:  If I wait until I  “feel” confident, then I will never do “whatever”.   I would never have launched a video line.  I would never have gotten on stage. Heck I would not have started this business 14 years ago if I waited until I was “confident” that I had enough work to sustain me.

“Confidence” in and of itself comes after doing and doing and scaling that wall and seeing results and getting comfortable.  I am confident in my day-to-day operations as a biz owner….but it’s because I’ve done it for so long.   But there will always be “another thing” looming on the horizon.  Another “project” to do.  Another “stage” of life.  Another battle to fight.  Another “thing” to work thru.  One thing we are guaranteed in this life is that things will always be changing!

One of my BFFs texted me the day before the Home Show began and asked how I was doing.  This is the picture I texted her back:

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Me…… laying on my office floor where I was a lot of the day…..feeling paralyzed, feeling terrified, praying that God would give me the words to say.  Thinking this is no fun.  Thinking this is ridiculous. Thinking “what was I thinking???”

I think God wants us out of our comfort zone.  Jesus KNEW we would struggle with fear which is why He addressed fear so many times in the Bible.  He tells us to FEAR NOT.  And yet, He is not surprised by me laying on my office floor, tummy all knotted up, wishing I could run and hide.  He knew my fears before He called me onto that stage.

Listen, God doesn’t expect us to do things always cool as a cucumber…..He wants us to work THRU the fear.  Because victory is on the other side.  Bigger things are on the other side.  And it does get easier.  Or so they tell me, right?  I sure hope so because I accepted another speaking engagement last week and am in the dealings with another company about speaking for them several times this year.

If I wait to feel confident….I will never say yes to these things.  I am committed to doing them afraid!

So I know some of you  have your own “Home Show event” lingering above your head.  What is it?

Is it starting your own business?

Homeschooling your kiddos?

Quitting your day job?

Switching careers?

If YOU wait until you feel confident….YOU will never do them either. 

So can I encourage you to be brave?  To do it afraid?    This is  what “stepping out in faith” looks like.  This is what “crashing the chatterbox” looks like.  This is what I think it look like OFTEN for people.  You can do it!!!!

And in case you are curious….here is a quick Flipagram video of my Home Show week!  Someone please tell me I don’t look nervous.  And that you can’t see the hole in my dress.  Or hear my belly rumbling!  ha!  Once I was on the TV and on the stage….I had an absolute blast and felt completely in my element!  I am rooting for you!!!!!

6 Comments

  • Kay says:

    Thank you for sharing your heart. I have been struggling with my business and have felt discouraged and scared. Your words today have lifted me up and encouraged me so much. Hugs to you!

  • Brandie says:

    I love seeing your postings on FB, and not just of the work you’ve done but of faith and the ones of your precious children. We tend to forget in the chaos of working to make our life sustainable, that we have families who are what make the chaos worth it. I have 4 young daughters and I hope that someday life won’t be as much of a struggle for them as mine was growing up. I started a FB page and Etsy page (Noble Accents) but haven’t gotten far with it because I’m so busy trying to work at a job with a steady and known income. I’d much rather be spending my time creating, crafting, and repurposing things making them beautiful. People always told me I was crafty when I’d make my kids’ hair flowers, jewelry, costumes, refinish furniture, statues, etc. and see things I’d like to have but find a way to make it myself…I’d laugh and say, “I’m not crafty, I’m broke!” Ha, ha. But seriously, I wish I had the courage and the financial stability to pursue what I love but is now just a day dream, a hobby. I have a MBA but due to no jobs and losing my management job of 8 years due to company restructuring, I’m now an administrative assistant and starting all over. Best of luck to you and I love your work!

  • Kolein says:

    I sit on a gold mine of creative ideas every single day. The pile is getting bigger and my butt hurts. What the heck am I waiting for? I believe my problem is the paralysis of how to begin, where to begin, which thing to do first – all of it laced with fear. I will ponder your words, deeply. Also, a question: If most of my creative life is done alone without the assistance of others how to I bridge that gap. My experience has been that once someone is brought into the creative process possession takes over – they begin to try to take the creation and make it theirs or twist it into something different. I’m left leaving that creation in a heap on the floor, disappointed, trying to salvage the relationship which is by far more important. I’m reaching the point where stepping out alone may be the only way.

  • Angela Murad says:

    Thank you for writing this today. I REALLY needed it. And Kolein Velvette Carlson just wrote what I was thinking. Must push through the FEAR!! My new Mantra! 🙂

  • Sheryll says:

    Faith is a funny thing. I found faith the day my husband committed suicide. I was terrified for the first three years barley hanging onto my daughter and getting over that hurdle and starting a cleaning business…,oh no one would hire me because I had been self employed so I started a small cleaning business, I learned about faith everyday turning everything over to
    God that I understood. Faith I would some how be normal and happy again. Faith my beautiful daughter would turn out happy, educated and confident and healed from all the sadness and hurt. Faith I would find my voice again. I could barely talk for three years. I learned about faith. Faith led me to my new husband who I bawled like a baby after we married…yes I did. Not because I was so happy but because I was terrified and knew I made a mistake. Faith has helped me make a beautiful marriage, walk my daughter down the isle and 4 yrs later pregnant, watching her transform from a angry, terrified teenager to a beautiful confident woman, this is what faith has taught me. Loved your tribute to faith!

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