The weather in KC has been unseasonably cool lately. So, I began to freak out about the cold water temps. I considered for a fraction of a minute dropping out……but I am a commitment kind of girl and I had committed to this.
In the middle of my race, I started thinking about how fanatical my thinking is during triathlons. My mind jumps at random from one topic to the next. I levitate mentally between “I am gonna quit” and “I am gonna kick some butt” . First veering in one direction, then leaning towards the other.
I constantly have to continue reigning in my thoughts. Other more “serious” athletes may be focusing only a the competition at hand, but my mind wanders to a jillion different things.
It occurred to me in the middle of the bike that I should blog about it. Not to convince you I am nuts….but to convince you that some women like myself…….who do crazy things like triathlons and half marathons …..many of us are just DOING IT AFRAID!!!!!
So here are my thoughts….in no random order.
I use the restroom for the 5th time and hope that is it!
We had a ten minute fog delay in which I was thinking….wweet….maybe they will delay it longer. Maybe they will cancel it all together and I will get out of this competition!
Then thinking…..quit delaying the inevitable and let’s get the pain on the road!
I saw many dads with their young children there early in the morning. One child as young as just a few months old. I marvelled at how supportive those husbands were and how courageous those women competing were!
Then I needed to think about the swim.
This tri started according to age which, in my opinion, is a crap way to organize the women. So, being fab at 40…..I was with other fab women aged 40 -44….but some of which had swam all of their life.
During my swim, I passed ONE woman. And she was back floating. That totally made up for me getting passed by a back floater on my last triathlon. Yet, part of me wanted to stop and swim with that woman. She needed the moral support and i sooooooo get that.
And I saw my fellow triathlete Jackie on the sidelines taking pictures. She got benched from the tri the day before with a back issue . I looked at her and thought “suck it up….I am healthy…..get to my bike”.
And I wondered if I should switch to clipless pedals over the winter.
I also remembered there was a woman competing in the tri who was in a wheelchair and I had nothing to complain about it. If she can do it, I can quit whining and keep pedaling.
All throughout the bike and the run we got to see gorgeous sunflowers….Kansas’ state flower. The run on this course was amazing.
I started to think….I could just walk. No one would even know if I began to walk. Then had to remind myself…I don’t walk. Keep running!!!!
Why can’t I catch that girl in the pink shirt ahead of me?????? I followed her the entire run and she beat me by about 10 seconds. Good for her!
I was trying to break 30 minutes which is very doable for me if I haven’t just swam a 1/3 mile and biked 10.5. As I rounded the last corner, my friend Shauna was screaming at me to sprint. I wanted to punch her.
I missed my goal time by 10 seconds. GRRRRRRRRRRRR.
My husband has never missed a single race of mine. He loves me thru every competition with training and carb dinners and handling the kids and taking pictures and being my #1 supporter. He had the opportunity to go camping with a group of men from our church this weekend, and I encouraged him to do that. It was the right thing to do and yet I missed seeing him at the finish line.
We got “official” results from the race that night. I was so disappointed in my finish. It was 3 minutes slower than my first triathlon.
“Most people never get there. They’re afraid or unwilling to demand enough of themselves and take the easy road, the path of least resistance. But struggling and suffering, as I now saw it, were the essence of a life worth living. If you’re not pushing yourself beyond the comfort zone, if you’re not constantly demanding more from yourself—expanding and learning as you go—you’re choosing a numb existence. You’re denying yourself an extraordinary trip”. -Dean Karnazes
In my head right now…..I am just trying to enjoy the ride.